See some plays: The Real Thing

Website: http://www.oldvictheatre.com

Last night ABJ and I went to see a Tom Stoppard play called The Real Thing at the Old Vic. She had bought tickets which, although high up on the "Lilian Baylis Upper Circle", were exactly in the centre so offered a very good view of the stage.

The lobby of the theatre was packed full of people having a pre-theatre drink of expensive glasses of champagne:We got a drink downstairs in the Pit Bar and took them into our seats (this time we were experienced enough to ask for the drinks in plastic cups).

The theatre interior was ornately decorated with a huge chandelier in the centre: I managed to take one last photo of the stage before an usher told me off for taking pictures:
The play itself was very good. It dealt with love and tangled relationships. My favourite part involved a monologue comparing good use of words to a cricket bat and contrasting a coffee cup to the ideas of justice, honesty etc.

During the interval we has some tasty, but expensive Cornish ice cream.

Summary: Good play, nice venue, packed out audience.

Tour round BBC Television Centre

Website: http://www.bbc.co.uk/tours/televisioncentre.shtml

Yesterday ABJ and I went on a tour around the BBC Television Centre. The tour began at 4.30pm and I'd booked our £7.50 tickets earlier in the week by phone.

We arrived at the reception and waited with the rest of the tour group until our guide arrived. The group consisted of 6 teenage students on a school trip, their two teachers and a mother and young son Zack.

At last our tour guide Kevin arrived and took a roll-call to check everybody was there. He then led us out and to the main entrance where we were subjected to an airport-style security check before being given a "tour pass". We were then led closer to the building and given a short introduction to the tour.

We were shown a large anonymous wall and told that it was the side wall to Studio 1 - their biggest TV studio, about the size of half a football pitch.
We were then shown a TARDIS and encouraged to take photos. Kevin introduced our other tour guide and he showed us into the building and through to the news centre.

We arrived into a conference room which overlooked the news room. Since it was a Saturday the building wasn't fully-staffed and, of the few people we could see working ABJ spied one was on facebook... We were given a few facts and figures about the building. There are usually 8,000 people working on site and 2,000 of them in the news centre (which was a relatively new addition to the complex).

Some points of interest included the planning department, the BBC's own travel agency (which can get journalists anywhere in the world at the drop of a hat) and an area where there at two shifts, both 3 'til 3!

After the news area we were shown out to what used to be the main entrance when the centre was opening in the early 1960s. Since it was a nice sunny day we then left by the "stage door" and stood outside in the middle of the circular centre of the building. Apparently this was "hallowed ground" in the sense that no-one was allowed to drive there. Only 3 people have done do so: the Queen, Jeremy Clarkson and Jennifer Lopez.We heard all about the invention of TV and how the BBC was approached by John Logie Baird to do some test transmissions (since the BBC already broadcast radio). During World War II all TV was put on hold so the BBC could concentrate on radio. Apparently TV transmission stopped in the middle of a cartoon and restarted 6 years later with a woman announcing "We're sorry for the interruption". There were three pretty statues representing Light, Sound and Vision.

We also heard about the design of the television centre. This was to be the world's first dedicated TV centre. The architect was brought into design it was stuck for a while because his building had to fit onto an awkward triangular piece of land. At last he had a breakthrough and designed the building to be question-mark shaped...

The tour continued into a real live TV studio - Studio 4. This was a surreal experience. We walking into the large echoless space which had a dark black floor, immense lighting rig on the ceiling and plenty of control switches on the walls. This type of studio was designed by the architect to be a kind of "television factory". It was the first in the world and was so successful that all subsequent studios worldwide are based on it.The lighting rig had hundreds of lights each one of which could be individually positioned.
For shows with an audience there was seating that came out from the wall. The floor was divided into 2 foot squares with coordinates so that sets could be accurately planned and placed precisely in the right places.
Perhaps the most strange part of the whole place was the fact that for every single show they paint the entire floor, i.e. before a show starts they get huge brushes and paint the floor, they then set up the show, film it, pack away the show and then clean off the paint from the floor. This troublesome-sounding activity is done each time to ensure the floor is totally smooth so that as cameras glide around they don't bump up and down (apparently this would translate to a big wobble on screen even if the bump is small). I was initially shocked by the waste of all the paint and solvent but then they revealed that they convert it into fertiliser and sell it.

We left the studio and went upstairs to the BBC weather centre. Here we heard about how weather forecasters are each trained meteorologists who write there own scripts and have to make as many as 130 forecasts a day (for all all over the world)! It sounded like a lonely life - they film their forecasts in a small automated studio with no other humans around... There was a long corridor with photos of the presenters.While we stood in the corridor Kevin explained the use of green-screen special effects technology. We even had a chance to play with presenting the weather - Zack did a good job telling us about the rain in Hong Kong.

After the weather centre we were led to a celebrity green room - the fancy rooms that hold celebrities before they appear on a TV show. This was fairly plush with nice seating and subdued lighting. We heard all about the fantastic demands some celebrities make - e.g. Madonna wanted a portrait of the Pope. Apparently the stars themselves pay for this afterwards (ABJ and I speculated whether the stars are told they'll be charged before they make their big demands).

The tour finished off in an "interactive studio" where we could play at making a TV show. This was similar to the radio studio at the end of the Broadcasting House tour. Zack had a go at reading the news and three of the students took part in a kind of Weakest Link quiz show. This was a fun end to the tour and Zack and the quiz winners got BBC mugs for prizes.The final stop was the BBC shop where we could buy souvenirs. ABJ and I are now considering being in a TV show audience.

Summary: Good fun. The best bit was the TV studio.

Sotheby's auction

Website: http://www.sothebys.com

Today I had a high-class adventure by sitting in on a Sotheby's auction. The auction was "Arts of The Islamic World" and started at 10am.

I arrived on my bike to the New Bond Street auction house after getting hopelessly lost in the one-way systems in Mayfair. Luckily I'd left plenty of time... I arrived in the plush entrance lobby and asked an usher where the auction was. He said "Up the stairs at the back and to the top".

When I followed his directions I'd arrived in a kind of art gallery full of modern Turkish art. I initially thought I'd gone to the wrong place but then spotted that there was a hidden entranceway which led into a large auction hall:
There were quite a few people and lots of rows of seats. I took a seat near the front and waited for the auction to start. While I waited I looked around and tried to size-up which of the rich-and-powerful-looking people had the most money. There were men in exquisite suits and coiffed hair, there were women bedazzled with jewellery and fancy clothes. Since the auction was selling Islamic art there a lot of middle-eastern people in the audience. I tried to size up which of them were rich oil tycoons.

At last, slightly after 10am, the auctioneer stood up on his well-worm podium and welcomed everyone. He said hello in a variety of languages and generally beamed a smile around the room.

Without further ado Lot 1 was presented and the bidding was under way. The types of things up for auction included paintings, old writings, beautiful wooden boxes, silk curtains, intricately decorated Korans etc etc. The auctioneer was very good and did his job in a playful manner.
Sometimes the auctioneer would have an absentee bid where he would bid up to a pre-defined limit on someone's behalf. Here's an example, all called out in a posh English accent:

"Lot 13 now open. Absentee bid at 3000. 3-2? 3-2? 3200, 3-5 me, 3-8? 3-8. 4000 me, 4-2? 4.2. 4-5 me, 4.8? 4-8? It's with me not you. 4-8? 4-8 at the back, 5000 me. 5-2? Anybody for 5-2? 5-2 the gentleman on my left. That's me out. 5-5? 5-5? any advance on 5-2? 5-5! with Roxanne on the phone. 5-8? 5-8. 6? 6. 6-5? 6-5? Roxanne has it... 6-5? Any more? Roxanne for 6500. That's fair warning, I'm selling to Roxanne for 6500. Selling... Sold! SLAM!"

When a sale was made he'd bang down his gavel and immediately move on to the next lot. Sometimes he's say "bad luck" if somebody was outbid or while everyone was bidding he might ask someone politely to "Say 7-2" if he was trying to push them to bid higher (this often worked!).

The current highest bid (in a variety of currencies) would appear along with a picture of the item on two enormous TV screens:
When making their first bid the bidder would do a big gesture like raising their hand or their bidding paddle to catch the auctioneers attention. After that the auctioneer would look at them directly so they only had to nod or raise their eyebrows to make the next bid. At one point a man was waving to his friend at the back of the room and almost bid £10,000 for a painting! (The auctioneer warned him to be careful!). This made me very wary about gesturing when the bidding was taking place - one wrong move and I'd have committed to buying small wooden box for £45,000! I would sit there dying to scratch my nose but knowing that it just wasn't worth it!

Along the right-hand side of the room was a long row of people on telephones relaying the bids from people elsewhere:
The auctioneer would refer to them by name (e.g. Roxanne in the example above) and they would be continually quietly muttering into their phones (echoing the auctioneer) to keep the bidders up-to-date. After only a few lots there was a bidding war between two telephone bidders and the price rocketed from about £20,000 to £200,000!

Each time a new lot was started a wooden turn-table would spin around to reveal the item:
The far side of the turn-table was then loaded up with the next lot so that the process could be smoothly repeated next time. Sometimes the items were very small so a man would stand there and hold it aloft with white-gloved hands: Other items were too big and were "Sold as seen". This meant you saw a picture of the item but you were expected to have looked at it beforehand if you intended to bid.

As time went on bidding process became a bit repetitive. I starting wanting to bid early on (and then be out-bid) just so I could tell people that I'd bid at Sotheby's. The low bids were usually around £3,000 but I realised that if I chose the wrong one to bid on I might not be saved by a higher bid - ugh! I'd be stuck with an over-priced piece of Islamic art. Indeed, some of the bids never got sold - the starting price was too high so no-one wanted it.

I left after about an hour and passed by the posh art-sellers chit-chatting at the back of the room.

Summary: Surprisingly exhilarating.

See some plays: Sweet Nothings

Website: http://www.youngvic.org

A week ago last Friday ABJ and I took an evening out to visit the Young Vic Theatre. We were there to see Sweet Nothings - a play with the tagline "Four young people risk everything in a tragic game of love, lust and adultery"!

We arrived and picked up our cheap £10 student/"under 26" tickets at the front desk. We then went to have a drink in the crowded downstairs bar. In the hope of a place to sit we ventured upstairs to another bar but this was also packed out. While we stood there sipping out beers we wondered if all the trendy people we could see were there for the play or if the Young Vic was also a hip place to hang out.

At last we went into the theatre, awkwardly transferring out drinks to plastic cups. It was unreserved seating inside so we sat on the front row.

The play itself was really good and we couldn't have picked better seats - in some parts the actors were standing directly in front of us while they collected wine glasses or boiled coffee. The stage was round and slowly rotated during the performance. This was quite subtle and often you would have a double-take to realise that the piano that was 20 minutes ago on the far left was now at the back of the stage...

In the interval we overheard two men nearby discussing about how dreadful the play was "it's all style and no substance" etc. We discreetly made fun of them because we were enjoying the play. In the end they walked out and didn't stay for the second half.

All in all it was a good evening out.
Summary: Good play, funky venue.

Cabman's shelter

Everyday I cycle past a green shed-like building on my way to work. It's one of a number of "Cabman's shelters" in London - road-side huts providing hot meals to taxi-drivers.

The one I go past is in South Kensington but I've seen others in Notting Hill, St John's Wood etc. When they're open there's usually a line of taxis parked nearby with gruff-looking taxi drivers queuing up to buy their lunch.

Today I joined them and bought my lunch at a Cabman's shelter.

I gingerly approached the hut and went around to the serving window. There was a taxi-driver chatting to the woman inside and I nervously hung back, acutely aware that I am not a taxi-driver...

At last the man was served his cup of tea and went off to his waiting cab. I stepped up to the window and ordered an egg roll from the woman inside. While she went about cooking it up another taxi-driver came up and eyed me suspiciously. He ordered his tuna baguette and we stood waiting in stony silence, both aware that I was trespassing on the cabman's turf.
At last my roll was ready and off I went, munching happily and trying not to squirt ketchup down my front!

Summary: A window into the cabman's world.

Bevis Marks Synagogue

Website: http://bevismarks.org.uk

Yesterday ABJ and I visited the Bevis Marks synagogue, the oldest surviving synagogue in the UK. It's been operating for 308 years, ever since its completion in 1702.

We'd investigated visiting times on their fancy website but yesterday the site was down and was replaced with a very basic one with little information. We finally ended up phoning them and were told the opening hours were 10.30am-12.30pm on Sundays. We hurried across London and arrived at about 11am.

We were greeted by a tough-looking Polish bouncer. He charged us the student admission of £2 each before letting us in. Excitingly I had to cover my head with a yarmulke picked from a basket near the entrance. This was the first time I'd worn anything like this.

Entering the synagogue I found it was smaller than I'd expected. For a building with such an illustrious history I was expecting a huge cavernous interior. Instead it was the same size as a medium/small church.

Apparently there'd be a tour shortly so ABJ and I spent the time exploring. We examined the original English-oak furniture which has been used for hundreds of years. Unfortunately we exhausted the interior in about 5 minutes so sat down and watched the other visitors.

Eventually a walking tour group arrived and a man emerged from a side-door to give them the tour. We tagged along and all sat on the centre benches. The tour guide was a friendly man in his 50s who'd been associated to the synagogue for a long time (he said he'd been in the choir when he was 6!).

We heard how the synagogue was built by Spanish and Portuguese Jews who'd fled the Spanish inquisition to Amsterdam before travelling on to London. We heard about how the seven chandeliers represented the seven days of the week with the largest one for the Sabbath. The guide explained that a lot of the building and carpentry was done by people who built churches. He pointed out features of the synagogue which were identical to English churches of the same period and even, he suggested, completed in the same workshops!

The guide told us about some famous Jews associated with the synagogue including Prime Minster Benjamin Disraeli and rich philanthropist Sir Moses Montefiore (who is so respected his seat is roped off as a memorial). When the guide had finished we left the synagogue, dropping of my yarmulke on the way. While waiting outside we heard the leader of the walking tour referring to the synagogue guide: "He's a very nice man and it's all very interesting but he doesn't half go on a bit...!"Summary: A small taste of London Jewish history.

Debates in Parliament

Websites:
http://www.parliament.uk
http://www.writetothem.com
http://www.theyworkforyou.com

It's been a while since I've done anything for the Local Tourist but this came up by chance today...

The Government is going to cut millions of pounds of funding for universities and colleges. To try to stop this the University and College Union (UCU) had organised a national "lobby of parliament" to be held today. I'd be alerted to this by a friend's email a few days ago so decided to lend my support.

That's when the trouble began... You see, when they said "lobby of parliament" I'd understood "protest outside parliament" - a concept which I'm already familiar with. As it turned out I had misunderstood completely.

The lobby was scheduled from 2.30-4.30pm and I turned up outside the Houses of Parliament at 2.30pm expecting to see an army of annoyed students and lecturers with banners and placards. The only crowds I could see were groups of tourists taking photos.

There had been mention of a "feeder march" from Kings College starting at 1.30pm so I thought that perhaps that hadn't arrived yet. I saw a group of rowdy students joining a queue to enter the Houses of Parliament (they were chanting something like "No ifs! No buts! We don't want your budget cuts!"). I decided they must be the early ones and so went to look for the march that was heading our way. Only trouble is, there was no giant march!

Somewhat puzzled I went back to the queue and thought about what to do. I'd visited the inside of parliament before but never during a weekday - perhaps instead of a protest this was my chance to tick something off my local tourist list...

At this point I saw LB and WR queuing to go inside. LB was the friend who sent the email about the lobby. I called down to them from the pavement and asked what was going on. LB said they were queuing to get inside and were going to do some tourism. I said I'd see them inside and went to join the queue. From his response I'd decided there must have been such a small turn out that the protest was cancelled and they'd decided to visit parliament instead as a consolation.

The rowdy students had already gotten inside and at this point I thought that perhaps the protest was going to happen inside parliament. Although I was pretty sure that wouldn't be allowed by the numerous police I nevertheless wanted to be inside if there was something to see.

I asked a steward outside if I could queue to go inside. She sized me up as a rowdy student and asked why I was going inside. "Just visiting," I replied innocently and eventually, after trying to persuade me to come back in 1 or 2 hours, she let me in with a ticket to the public viewing gallery. As I passed her I heard a police radio announce that they should stop letting in any more students...

When I finally made it inside I thought I might see my friends waiting somewhere ready to protest. As it turns out they were nowhere to be seen. While wondering what to do a policeman made a bee-line for me and asked why I was there. Too scared of being kicked out if I said "I'm looking for a student protest" I said "I'm going to the public gallery!". He let me pass with no trouble.

I've been to the viewing gallery before. This time was just the same - you sign a little piece of paper saying you won't cause a disturbance, hand in your phone and bags and then are led into the hushed viewing gallery. From there you can look down on the MPs while they debate.

When I visited a few years ago it was late in the evening and there were only around 6 MPs present. This time there was about 80 MPs and they were discussing a varied selection of topics. The viewing gallery was stuffed full of a mix of tourists, elderly middle-class women and randoms like me.

I've never been particularly knowledgeable about politics so this was my chance to see the spectacle first-hand. I gazed around the green leather-upholstered seats and tried to size-up the MPs. I watched as MPs slouched in their seats and openly yawned, listened as they gabbled and stuttered their way through their prepared remarks and improvised answers.

I'd never watched parliament sitting for a well-attended debate before. The whole thing was ludicrous. The time-slot I saw was "Topical Questions to the Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government". The questions ranged over a variety of parochial topics but every single answer was identical - a knee-jerk rebuttal which ignored the main thrust of the question. And that was if they knew about the topic! If they didn't even know about the question they'd say "I'll write to you with the answer".

This was all mixed in with excessive etiquette about "My right honourable so-and-so" or "Mr Speaker, if I may..." which the MPs all flustered over so much it completely eclipsed what they were trying to say. Not to mention the opposition MPs who wanted to raise points (I think) so would stand up tentatively two or three at a time whenever there was a lull in the proceedings. As soon as the speaker called the next question they'd have to sit back down having said nothing. This was repeated periodically after every question.

There were MPs who obviously came from constituencies which have real problems and which some particular Government scheme was going to badly affect them. They would ask the front bench politicians to "guarantee this" or "wouldn't you agree with me that" but every response just steamrollered over the MPs worries and repeated their fixed answer.

At the end of these topical questions there were a few points of order raised which included one MP complaining that another MP had campaigned in their consituency without informing them beforehand. At this point I starting to despair.

Anyway, after I'd sat for about 20/30 minutes the next topic came up - a lengthy speech about ambulance response times. I left at this point to see if the UCU protest had warmed up.

As I was leaving the entrance to the viewing gallery a guard asked some elderly ladies in front of me if they were going to visit the House of Lords. They declined but I asked him about it and he showed me where to go (there was no sign of UCU by the way).

This was a whole different affair. There were around 20 Lords sitting around their red leather-upholstered chamber and they were talking about the Digital Economy Bill. The atmosphere in the House of Lords was quite different to the House of Commons. Practically every Lord had some kind of disability that meant they hobbled around or leant on furniture while speaking but my main impression was they had much more time to debate. Every sentence they pronounced was studded with long pauses while they found the right way to express their next idea. This was not rhetoric at its best but was much better than the MPs debate where it was a pleasant surprise to see someone form a single grammatically correct sentence.

They were debating the powers that should be given to the Government to try to stop illegal downloading of films/music etc on the internet. They were talking about the film Avatar and the music services Spotify and iTunes, even the website "Oink". This all constrasted sharply with the ancient stained-glass windows and the golden bejeweled throne sitting at the back wall. The best contribution was from Lord Lucas (I think) who said that rather than trying to ban illegal downloads (which, he said, would never really succeed) it was better to make copyrighted material available in other means for a fee. That way people would simply pay to download a film rather than watching a pirated copy.

After a while listening to this I gave up and went back to the main entrance. I was still on the look-out for protesters and was very happy to see WR. He was sitting quietly on a bench reading a book. At last! Someone who could tell me what was going on!

He explained the lobby of parliament was going ahead - it was in a committee room upstairs. He had been there earlier and listened to a few speeches and now he was waiting to meet his MP to talk about the funding cuts. I revealed shame-facedly that I didn't even know who my MP was (a situtation I have since rectified). I told him what I'd been doing and he was so interested he went off to the public viewing gallery. I set off to find the "UCU committee room" - room 19 as it turned out - and arrived at about 4.30pm. Unfortunately the lobby was only going on from 2.30-4.30pm so I arrived at precisely the moment that everybody was leaving...

Nevermind, I now know how little I know about parliament and will have to educate myself in the future. I left for home feeling a little bit wiser.

Summary: Parliamentary debates are an interesting spectacle to witness first hand.