IMAX Waterloo

Website: http://www.bfi.org.uk/imax

Today ABJ and I visited the BFI IMAX near Waterloo station. Situated at the centre of a huge roundabout this IMAX boasts the largest screen in the UK. To access it there are pedestrian tunnels running under the road and I've often walked past it on my way elsewhere. Overhanging vines give it a futuristic look as if civilisation has crumbled and the planet is being reclaimed by Nature:
We were there for the 4.45pm showing of Kung Fu Panda. I think there might be only one screen but... what a screen. As we sat munching our popcorn and slurping our sprite the spotlights whizzed around and focussed on a cinema usher standing nervously in the far right corner. He gave us a timid welcome and introduction. He delivered "Welcome to the BFI IMAX - the biggest screen in the UK!" with all the enthusiasm of a limpet.
The introduction finished and the usher nervously waited for the spotlight to turn off. When it did we were then treated to a thorough automated introduction to just how big the screen was, just how crystal clear the image was, just how amazing the sound system was etc etc. This was all delivered by a booming American voice.

At last the film began and... well... what can I say? An animated kids film about kung fu fighting animals... It was not exactly Tolstoy but it did have a few though-provoking lessons from the wise old master Oogway:

1. There are no accidents.
2. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift - that's why they call it the present.
3. Let go of the illusion of control...

Summary: The ticket prices were in proportion to the screen size.

HMS Belfast

Website: http://hmsbelfast.iwm.org.uk

Today I visited HMS Belfast. This is a Royal Navy ship which has been moored near Tower Bridge since the 1970s. It saw active service in World War II and the Korean War and is now a floating museum about its naval history. I'm not much of a military buff but thought I'd give it a visit.

When I arrived I found the ship was so big it couldn't fit in one photo. Clearly a montage was required:
I bought a student ticket (£7.20), got a free English language audio-guide and set off along the jetty out to the moored ship. At the end of the jetty a uniformed Navy officer took my ticket and, calling me "Sir", gave me a map and a brief, official-sounding orientation. Then I was on my own.

I tried to figure out if there was a "tour start point" but the map was no help so I tried the audio guide. Holding the over-sized phone to my ear I felt like a genuine tourist. Although the guide was interesting (for example the ship's bell was also used as a christening font for the sailor's babies) and included excerpts from veterans who served on the ship it went a bit too slow for my liking so I slung it around my neck and set off without its aid.
My first stop was Gun Turret Y at the stern (i.e. back) of the ship. Here the awesome guns were on display. These were used to fire huge 6 inch shells out at the enemy and were manned by a crew which, when there was action, worked, slept and ate in the turret. A father and son were in the turret with me and I benefited from the father's explanation of how the guns worked.Next stop was inside the ship where a TV display explained all about torpedoes. The Belfast used to carry 6 torpedoes and there was a huge one on display. I watched a French tourist pose for a "ride the torpedo photo"...

I tried to follow the arrows around the ship but it turned out a new tour route was being trialled. This meant there were conflicting old and new arrows pointing in contradictory directions. I did my best and went down to the Boiler Room and the Engine Room. The complex and immense machinery was amazing. The boilers produced super-heated steam to power the turbine engines which powered the ship's propellers. It took 4 hours to get up enough steam for the ship to start off! These rooms were fun because you were allowed to climb up and down ladders and steep steps. There were narrow walkways suspended between pipes and dials. It was a cross between a museum and an agility course.

I got turned around with the ladders between decks and the confusing arrows and the occasional signs sometimes declaring "You are now below the water line". Rather than try to reconstruct my route around the ship I'll give you the highlights. The best one was the insight into the little things you don't think about but are essential to the running of such a massive ship. The Belfast had a bakery, a butchers, an immense galley to cook for everyone, a clothes store, a small shop selling sweets, a dentist, a sick bay, a post room, a music broadcasting room (to play music to entertain the men), a chapel etc etc. The galley ovens were enormous. One huge, deep "copper" was filled with hundreds of fake potatoes to give you a rough idea:Everywhere there were models of people acting out the relevant task: people having teeth pulled, baking, butchering, even a model of someone having an operation. I learnt that there were cats on board to catch mice and rats and that the soap and tobacco were stored separately from everything else (or else they'd taint the food). A reindeer given to the ship as a present by the Russians in WWII was so scared by the gunfire that they had to "put it out of its misery" a few days later. I believe it ended up as reindeer pie...

The ship turned out to be so huge that I began to tire of climbing between decks and reading the information boards. I saw the shell stores where the explosives were kept and learnt about how they were hauled up mechanically to the gun turrets above. I took a short break to have a snack in the Walrus Cafe before my final assault. The tour lead to the mess area were sailors used to sleep in hammocks and play cards. I saw the punishment cell where sailors were locked up by the captain for misdemeanors including falling asleep on watch. A quick look at the bow (i.e. front) and the impressively huge guns. They are capable of firing shells 14 miles away! Currently the guns are aimed at a service station on the M1...It was starting to rain now so I did a quick look through some parts I'd missed. These included a mechanical computer that calculated where to fire the guns in order to hit the targets:
It sounded very complicated - wind speed, wind pressure, how many shells had been fired by the guns, the targets speed and direction were all taken into account. I was also surprised to see that the ship was steered by an old-fashioned steering wheel:
(For some unexplained reason the sailors on the Belfast wore full head-covering white balaclavas...)

Summary: A surprisingly fun day out with lots to see. It's good fun to climb around the ship and pretend you're on a seafaring adventure.

Wimbledon Tennis Championships

Website: http://www.wimbledon.org

A week ago last Thursday I went with ABJ to see the Wimbledon Tennis Championships 2008. This world-famous tennis tournament takes place every summer for a few weeks and during all my time in London I'd never visited it.

Part of the reason for this is that the advanced sale tickets sell out many months earlier and to get in on the day involves queuing for hours. A large number of tickets are available to buy on the day but the good ones sell out quick. The really committed tennis fans camp out in tents for the night before to be able to get tickets for "Centre Court" where the tennis pros play.

Unsure what to expect ABJ and I arrived at Southfields tube station at about 4pm. Following the flow of people we were shocked to see a queue about 50 yards long. "Oh no! That's really long!" we thought. We followed directions to the back of the queue and saw it was actually 100 yards long. "Oh dear!"... No wait... We stood stock-still, our wide eyes following the queue along. It wrapped around the edge of a huge field used as a car park, round the corner, down the other edge and around another corner. The part we could now see was at least 500 yards long! It turns out that the full queue - including the part we couldn't even see from the car park - was over a mile long!We trekked across the vast car park, positioned ourselves at the end of the queue and discussed what to do. While we discussed we were handed a queue card noting our numbered position in the queue. My number was 11594. We were told we almost definitely get in but would have to queue for 2 and 1/2 hours. We decided that "we'd come that far" so might as well stay. ABJ went to Southfields to bring back food and by the time she returned I'd been given a "Guide to queueing at Wimbledon" and a "I've been in the queue to see the 2008 Wimbledon tennis championships" sticker. They really take the queueing seriously...

I don't want this account to feel like queueing for over 2 hours so I'll skip forward to the highlights. As we munched our houmous, bread, cheese, crisps, grapes and jaffa cakes we passed by people with tents, burger bars, ice cream vans and were eventually lead through an exhibition drawn by Gerard Scarfe showing famous tennis players from the past:
Finally the queue filtered through a thorough security search of bags and jackets etc and we arrived at the Wimbledon Lawn Tennis Club. The time was 6.30pm (so the queue really did take about 2 and 1/2 hours!). We bought the cheapest (£14) ticket that allowed us entry to courts 3-19.

Once we were inside past the ticket barriers we stopped and wondered what to do. We'd been queuing for so long that I'd forgotten there was still tennis to come - I felt like the epic queue was the reason everyone was there.

We just wanted to see some tennis. We practically ran to the nearest court and, having watched a rally, breathed a sigh of relief. But who were these players? Where were all the famous tennis stars? We scuttled through the crowd to hungrily see another court but it wasn't that exciting. Was it all going to be like this?

Deciding to explore we climbed up the hill to watch "The Big Screen" at the Aorongi Terrace. People lounged about on the grassy slope watching a match between famous players on Centre Court on the huge screen. We watched for a little bit then felt restless and went to find some quality tennis. Studying the map we headed off to courts 2-11. There were some courts so busy that passers-by were peaking through the wooden slats around the court.

The paths were crammed with tennis fans trying to outmanoeuvre each other to get to the best court.We finally saw a few matches and tried to take cool photos of the players mid-serve:
We settled for a slow singles game between two people we didn't know. After watching for about 10 minutes there was a commotion behind us. Venus and Serena Williams were walking towards court 11 surrounded by a mob of autograph hunters. No sooner had I alerted ABJ to their presence than she was scrambling over spectators in an attempt to reach court 11. She ran ahead of me as we were swept up in a whirlwind of fans streaming forward, clawing at each other, hurrying to get a seat for the court 11 game. ABJ arrived first and saved one for me. We settled down to watch the match. It was between two Polish women and the American Williams sisters. Unfortnately the game wasn't very equal and the Williams' won easily. As they hurled their 120mph serves across the net the Americans in the audience whooped and cheered. The game was simply settled after half an hour.

We flowed out with the other fans, passed the "Cushions for hire" stall and wandered aimlessly to the food courts. We had discussed earlier buying strawberries and cream but, at 8pm, were not in the mood. There were television crews broadcasting the summary of the days tennis:
Dusk fell. The tennis was over. We felt tired and wandered slowly out and back to Southfields tube.

Summary: An unique experience but not one I want to repeat urgently.

The list (number three)

Here's an updated list with a few items added:

• Tour round Buckingham Palace
• Go up the BT Tower for the view
  
• Cycle around Richmond park
• Sneak into the fancy hotels - Hilton, Savoy etc
• Go to all the museums in London
• Go to all the major art museums in London
  
• Have a drink in the ice-bar off Regent Street
• Do the sing-along sound of music at the Prince Charles cinema
  
• Watch a film at the Electric cinema in Notting Hill
• Watch a film at a Leicester Square cinema
• Watch an IMAX film near Waterloo
• Go to a casino
• Explore the new O2 centre at the Millennium Dome
• Tour round the BBC TV centre and BBC Broadcasting House
• Watch a live, well-attended debate in Parliament (e.g. Prime Ministers questions)
• Go out for an artsy night out in the east-end.
• Shop at Petticoat Lane market
• Go on the rides at the London dungeons
• Sit in on a Sotheby's auction
• Eat at a traditional pie 'n' mash shop
• Tour round Lord's cricket ground
• Tour round Wembley stadium
• Go to the London wetland centre
• Visit Chelsea Physic Garden
• Get into London fashion week
• Tour around City Hall
• Tour around Tower Bridge
• Go to the tennis at Wimbledon
• See some plays
• Ride home in a rickshaw
• Eat at some famous restaurants
• Visit the hidden-away nature reserve behind St. Pancras station
• Visit a big mosque, big synagogue, other big places of worship
  
• Use an "isolation tank" near London Bridge
• Get a free Hare Krishna vegetarian meal
• Go to the the Jazz Cafe in Camden
• Go to some jazz club I've heard about in Soho
• Eat a meal in one of the touristy Leicester square steak houses
  

Pie 'n' Mash Shop

Website: http://www.manze.co.uk
Address: 87 Tower Bridge Road, London, SE1 4TW.

What a treat! Yesterday, being in South East London at around lunch time, I tried again to visit M. Manzes pie and mash shop. Established in 1902 this is the oldest continuously operating pie and mash shop in London.

I arrived at about noon and was glad to see the shop was open. A few people were queuing in front of me so I tried to size-up the shop. It looks very old-fashioned - white and green tiles on the walls and surfaces. There's a long serving counter on the right and a large seating area on the left dotted with people tucking into their hearty food. The pies behind the counter sit on huge baking trays and the mash is in a huge bowl, all ready to be served up.

The orders are phrased as "number of pies" + "number of mash". I ordered a simple "1 vegetarian pie" + "1 mash". The vegetarian pies are unusual so they said it'd take a few minutes. In the mean time I ordered a large sarsaparilla. I sat at the back and looked forward to my food.

The waitresses looked like local women who enjoyed working there. In fact, most of the customers looked like they were proper south Londoners. I felt I stood out a bit - especially after my order of a vegetarian pie. All the real men had ordered "2 pies" + "2 mash". In the end I was glad I didn't have my camera to take photos because I'd have looked even more out of place.

After a tormenting eternity my pie was ready. I went up and hungrily changed my order from "1 mash" to "2 mash and liquor". The waitress put the pie on a plate, used a spoon to smear a mash barricade on the opposite side of the plate and then poured a generous ladle of "liquor" into the centre. The carefully designed food layout ensured the pie and mash held the liquor in without spilling. I paid, raced to the back and tucked in.

Well, what can I say? It was heavenly. When I left I felt full and satisfied. Yum.

Summary: Go there. Eat some pie and mash. Smile. (Try the challenge not to look out-of-place though).

London Transport Museum

Website: http://www.ltmuseum.co.uk

I've been so busy for the past three weeks I've had no time for my Local Tourist trips - until today! I'm not sure... maybe it's because it was on my list, maybe it's the thrilling name of the museum or maybe it had something to do with their latest extensive advertising campaign but today ABJ and I visited the London Transport Museum in Covent Garden.

After buying our £6 student tickets we entered a mysteriously modern red-neon lit corridor:
This showed video clips in the walls about transport systems in other cities. We walked up the ramp and found, at the end a huge London tube map on the wall. Round the corner were two lifts and signs saying "Continue your journey this way..." We got in the lift and pressed the button. The doors closed and it was like being in a space rocket crossed with a time machine crossed with a lift. Suddenly the years spun back in time and we were blasted upwards to 1800 (a.k.a. Floor 2).

Exploring the museum was made a lot easier by arrows painted on the floor. Following these we learned all about the time when London had only one bridge across the Thames. The river was busy with steam boats and there were lots of accidents.

We learned about the rise of the railways in London. When first built Euston and King's Cross were on the edge of London and one could walk half and hour in any direction from Westminster or St Paul's and be in the countryside. Ah, those were the days.

To transport people from the train stations to the centre there were horse-drawn cabs and omnibuses. These cabs, buses and trams needed 50,000 horses to run them all and these produced over 1,000 tonnes of dung daily.

Travelling down to Floor 1 we followed the development of the London underground. Trains were built underground to ease congestion on the roads and avoid the demolition needed to build new railways. A big problem with railways underground was how to avoid smoke and steam from the engines. Numerous attempts were made (including trying to power a steam train with hot bricks) but the problem was only completely solved by electrifying the underground railways in the early 1900s.

One of the best pieces on this floor was the wide range of posters that promoted travel on the underground railways to its punters:
We finally made it back to the ground floor which dealt with London transport in 1900-2000. This started with an explanation of the first deep underground tube lines which presented a host of engineering problems. One of these required the invention of the escalator to move people from ground-level deep down to the underground trains.

There was a piece about the unified style of the London underground - from tube station builds to uniforms to lettering...
Best of all was the opportunity to drive a virtual tube train through a computer generated simulation of the Northern line. While we waited this was being monopolised by some punk kid who couldn't even stop correctly at the end of the station platforms. When I eventually had my turn I drove into Tottenham Court Road and pulled to a gentle stop at just the right place... Who knows, maybe I missed my ideal career...

In a big gallery on the ground floor were lots of buses from different times. We climbed in and around these and lamented that loss of the Routemaster bus.

Summary: Surprisingly fun. Well organised layout and interesting information.

Brixton Academy

Website: http://www.brixton-academy.co.uk

Last Monday night ABJ and I went to a free Coldplay concert at Brixton Academy. It was my first time there and I was excited to go inside - especially for free! Doors opened at 6.30pm so we arrived at 6pm and joined a long queue down the side of the building. After half and hour the queue began to slowly move forward.

There was a lot of security at the entrance and ABJ even had to surrender her chewing gum. Once inside, past the big bouncers, there were hordes of Oxfam helpers dispensing free badges and postcards saying "Be Humankind".

We walked away from the security through the crowds of freshly frisked Coldplay fans into the "Stalls". This was a huge downward slope that led to the stage. A few leaning railings broke up the space and we headed straight for the nearest one. Fans were standing around packed in near the stage. Most of the other railings were full up but we managed to nab a space wide enough for us two. As more people arrived this had to be guarded strongly against everyone else. A beer cheered me up during the long wait until 7.45pm. I spent the time looking at the venue. There was a balcony for the audience above the stalls and high up on both sides of the stage were Roman-style terraces with fake plants and classical architecture.

By 7.45pm the arena was packed full of hip young people and Jon Hopkins came on to DJ some music. He accompanied a surreal 30 minute animated film that was projected onto a 20ft screen:
It was all a "very 21st Century" form of entertainment.

The film ended, the crew laboriously packed up the screen and his equipment and started a sound check for Coldplay. At this point I'd been standing/leaning/slouching for about 2 hours... At last, finally, after such a long wait, Coldplay emerged from the shadows and appeared on stage.

They played their first few songs with lots of energy and lead singer Chris Martin was visibly sweating. For the first few songs he had an odd habit of acting out the lyrics he was singing using his fingers. Luckily this stopped early on.

The audience were loving it and sang along to the songs they knew. At one point Chris Martin segued from one song to another magnificently - only to then come to a crashing halt and shout "Wasn't that a smooth transition!". Yeah Chris... It would have been great if you hadn't stopped to say how great it was...

They played "Yellow" gently from a balcony and we were in a good position clutching to our railing to see it all. The experience wasn't so good for people at the back under the balcony - they could just see the crowd's heads aimed upwards at the front. Finally Coldplay returned to the stage and played their final song with a burst of butterfly confetti.
Summary: A good looking venue - especially to see the "world's biggest band" for free.