The ice bar off Regent Street

Website: http://www.belowzerolondon.com/icebar

Last night TF and I visited the Absolut Ice Bar on Heddon Street. We both tried to go there a few years ago but were turned away because we hadn't booked in advance. This time we were successful.

Our reserved timeslot was from 9.30pm to 10.10pm. We arrived at the chaotic queue just before 9.30pm and bought two tickets for £12.50 each. We joined a queue/holding area with our fellow drinkers and then - at 9.30 - the bouncers started letting people in.

Before entering you stand in front of a bouncer, they take a fur-lined insulating cape off a hook, raise it above your head and shove it down over you like you're a foot going into a sock. You're then ushered into the Ice Bar...

The "air-lock" is lined with fur and when you emerge into the bar it's like stepping into another world. The air is cold, the light is funky blue, the music throbs and everywhere you look the ice gleams.
Giddy with the novelty of the bar we didn't know what to do. We had a closer look at the ice. All the walls were made from ice, there were "tables" and "seats" made from huge blocks of clear ice (the seats had fur on top) and even the bar was made of ice. Apparently the ice is all transported from the Torne River in Jukkasjarvi, Sweden. It certainly was nice to look at - with natural fissures and air-pockets:Slowly we realised the bar was getting busy. Our tickets entitled us to one drink so we shoved our way to the front and chose some cocktails from the menu:I had a Absolute Red Garnet which was quite nice. The drinks were served in an ice "glass" which became very cold to hold as the 40 minutes went on. Luckily our capes came with a pair of gloves attached on elastic.
As we drank our cocktails we walked around the room and I was a little disappointed that it wasn't as big as I'd imagined. I got the (accurate) impression that the room was just like a big freezer - like a meat locker turned drinking venue.

We took lots of photos of each other posing with the ice and watched everyone else taking lots of photos too. The other 20 or so people were all young and looked like they were out for a big night even though it was a Wednesday.

After a while of trying to look through the walls or chip the drinks glasses into pieces we got a bit bored and cold. We built the finished glasses up into a pyramid:
Extra drinks cost £6 each so we gave them a miss. It turned out that 40 minutes in the ice bar was about the right amount of time - any longer would have been a chore. At 10.10pm we were told to leave and, after having our capes quickly stripped off, we stepped out into the normal world again.

Summary: A magical but expensive experience.

Tour around the Royal Albert Hall

Website: http://www.royalalberthall.com

Today I went on the 10.30am tour around the Royal Albert Hall in South Kensington. There are multiple tours everyday but today there were only 2 in the morning because "Cirque du Soleil" was showing in the afternoon.

I've been to quite a few shows at the Albert Hall (including a Cream reunion concert, ballet, the proms, indoor tennis... even my graduation!) so I was looking forward to learning a bit of "insider information".

The tour started promptly at 10.30am. About 15 of us were hanging around Door 12 when we were greeted by Helen who's worked at the Albert Hall for 10 years. She asked everyone if we'd been to the venue before and where we were from. There were people form Australia, Sweden, Germany and, slightly less exotic, Bedford. Helen explained that we were not allowed to take photos and then led us away from the Box Office into the circular corridors on ground level.

Lining the corridors are photos of famous or unusual performances at the Albert Hall and, as she led us up to see the boxes, she explained that sport has been very big in the venue's history. They've had tennis (during the Masters Tennis)basketball, sumo wrestling and even a marathon (In 1909 two athletes tried to run 500 laps of the inner corridor on a bedding of coconut leaves. Neither made it!).

We were led upstairs to sit in the boxes overlooking the stage. Here we had a rest in the chairs and were taught some history of the hall. It was opened in 1871 and was designed to be an amphitheatre with a roof. The roof ended up causing enormous difficulties however because it echoed the sound around the performance space. This was good if a choir was singing but bad if there was a soloist or pianist. People would apparently say "It's good value for money at the Albert Hall - you hear the concert once and then again 2 or 3 seconds later...". The modern solution to these echoing difficulties was put in place in 1969. It involves a host of upsidedown "mushrooms" suspended from the roof: These scatter the sound waves all around the room before they can get to the roof. Any sounds that do get to the roof then bounce back into the mushrooms and are dampened down.

The hall hosts around 360 events every year and has a audience capacity of 4,500 to 6,000 depending on the event.

We then left the boxes we were in an took a sneak peak at the Queen's box. This was bought by Queen Victoria and has a prominent crown displayed above it. It is where royalty sit when they come to an event at the Albert Hall but, when there's no royals attending an event, the box is used by people that work for the Queen (e.g. stable hands at Windsor, secretaries at Buckingham Palace etc). It seems like it's a perk of the job.

This Queen's box (which is always called the Queen's box even when a king is monarch because it was Queen Victoria who bought it) opened up the whole issue of ownership of seats. To raise money to build the Albert Hall they sold a few hundred seats for £100 each. The lease for these was 999 years (!) and the seats were passed down through families. In the 137 years the Albert Hall's been around a lot of the seats have, however, ended up being bought as investments by companies and banks. They are occasionally sold by closed auction in the Times but prices are high. One couple on the tour said they saw 5 seats sell for £100,000 a few years ago. If you do own a seat you get to go to pretty much any event you like...

We then visited the Royal Retiring Room where royalty come to relax before and after a show. This has portraits of all the leading royals since Queen Victoria. Here we were told that the Albert Hall was built as a memorial to Prince Albert by his widow Queen Victoria. Albert had conceived of turning South Kensington into a centre of culture and science. After his death the plans were followed through and the Royal Albert Hall, Royal College of Art, Imperial College, Royal College of Music, National Geographical Society, Science Museum, Natural History Museum, Victoria and Albert Museum were built. This vast complex was nicknamed "Albertopolis".

We then climbed up to the "Gallery" - a standing-only viewing area that rings around the top of the auditorium. This is fairly plain now but used to be the social area with paintings on display (hence "the Gallery"). We took a quick look out at the closed-off balcony before descending the stairs again. We'd been asking so many questions we were in danger of making Helen late for her 11.30am tour. She led us back to Door 12 and said goodbye.

The hall used to be powered by steam and the chimney outside is the disused (but listed) steam vent:Summary: Interesting glimpse into the history of the place. Could do with some more "behind-the-scenes" restricted access.

The Guards Museum

Website: http://www.theguardsmuseum.com

Today I visited the museum that inspired this blog. The museum is located next to St. James's Park and, as I arrived, I was expecting a museum about soldiers and warfare. I was partly right.

I bought my cheap £2 student ticket from a softly-spoken grey-haired gentleman who waved me into the museum. I was immediately confronted by huge displays of medals and uniforms:I tried to read the information cards to understand what I was looking at but they assumed a level of background knowledge that I didn't have (e.g. the technical meaning of battalions, colours, decorations etc). As I made my way around the museum I found longer information signs which gave the necessary background.

It turns out that the museum is all about a very particular type of soldier: the Royal Foot Guards. More specifically the five different types of Guards: Grenadier, Coldstream, Scots, Irish and Welsh Guards. I finally understood that these were the same guards as in the "changing of the guards at Buckingham Palace". I think of these as mainly a tourist attraction but the Guard's regiments are proper soldiers too and there are some currently in action in Afghanistan.

The Scots and Coldstream guards were founded in the English civil war (the Scots guards were first assembled in Scotland and then marched for over a month south to London!). These soldiers used pikes to spear enemy cavalry charges. The pikes were long wooden sticks with a metal point on the end which was used to pierce horses and their riders. Rather gruesome was the mention of a "blood rag" which was tied around the stick to "stop blood running down the shaft and making it slippy". Ugh! (The blood rag was later "formalised" to a tassel).

Over the centuries other regiments were added (Grenadier, Irish, Welsh - in that order I think) by various kings and queens. The museum charted the history of the regiments and the different battles they've fought in. The timeline reminded me of the bloody history of Europe - with countries declaring war on each ceaselessly. There were lots of paintings of battles and uniforms through the ages: even including the battles fought in Egypt: Eventually I made it through the extensive rooms to the 20th century where The Great War, World War II and beyond were discussed:I was interested to see their display about the current regiments in action in Afghanistan:This formed an striking contrast to the ceremonial aspects of the uniforms, the "colours", the drumming parades etc. After a quick look around at the photos of the stiff-upper-lipped military leaders, I left.
Summary: A bit too specific for a day out unless you know someone who was in the Guards.

Cycling in Richmond Park

Website: http://www.royalparks.org.uk/parks/richmond_park

Last Sunday I spent a fun afternoon cycling around Richmond Park with ML and VB. We had spent the morning and early afternoon cycling through suburbia and, after some tea at Morden Hall Park, we cycled to Richmond Park. We visited some very fancy neighbourhoods on the way and passed the mansion where Dwight Eisenhower lived during World War II!

I imagine that cycling around the park is not much fun in the pouring rain but luckily for us the weather was very pleasant. We plotted our route around the park on one of the maps and set off. We planned (like the polite cyclists we are) to stick to the cycling trails that criss-cross the park but, since we'd been cycling for over 2 hours, our first stop was a nice bench. It was there that I read out a letter from ABJ while VB and ML sat down in their matching bike helmets, bike trousers and fluorescent yellow jackets.

After we'd cooled off we hopped back on our bikes and set off again. We kept to the edge of the park and, according to ML at least, cycled right past Andrew Marr who was out jogging. We eventually turned towards the centre of the park and set off on a cycle trail. I was disappointed to see that the "true cyclists" (men who have thighs like tree trunks and ride carbon-fibre bikes) cycled on the road amongst the cars rather than on the paths amongst the toddlers.

We slowly made out way into the middle of the park and enjoyed the scenery. We saw people flying kites and riding horses (though not at the same time):
We saw a huge herd of young deer:We saw opportunities for arty photos:
After the exploration we were all really tired and free-wheeled down into Richmond for some beer, food and a film.

Summary: Worth a trip round on a bike even if you do have to stay away from the more exciting areas. Credit goes to ML for suggesting we go there and to VB for taking the photos.

London Wetland Centre

Websites:
http://www.wwt.org.uk/visit/wetlandcentre
http://www.londonwetlandcentre.co.uk

I've wanted to visit the London Wetland Centre for years. It's a massive expanse of "wetland" conservation area located next to the river Thames in west London. Today ABJ and I finally gave it a visit.

Arriving at about 2pm we bought our £6 student tickets at the entrance and set off into the courtyard. Immediately we were greeted by a friendly woman who orientated us on the map and explained the different areas of the wetland. There are two main sides to the site: one has endangered species and one does not.

We began with the endangered species side. This started with "World Wetlands" and was home to wetlands and birds from all around the world. The wetlands included Asian rice paddies, North American pine forests, Islands, Arctic Tundra etc. The different areas are fenced off from each other so the birds can't go between them (presumably the birds wings are clipped!).

The first stop, Artic Tundra, was one of the liveliest wetlands because there were so many different types of birds and no fence to keep them off the paths. The ducks and birds all squarked and flapped their wings at each other and at us. We watched different types of birds sticking together in close groups - each group trying to dominate the others.
Dotted throughout the center there were also lots of bird-photographers with enormous zoom lenses:The birds in the centre included an impressive variety of species. There were "red-breasted geese", "black swans", "chiloe wigeons" and hundreds of others I can't remember the names of:
I can identify this one... a Black Swan:Some "Red-crested Pochards":The wetlands certainly lived up to their name. There were paths passing between the rushes and lakes. The place was very well sign-posted and each area had a different name and welcoming illustrations:Dotted around the centre were also lots of hides. From inside you could watch the birds without them knowing:There were lots of signs saying "Please keep quiet in the hides. Birds have ears too." ABJ and I didn't have any binoculars so the hides unfortunately didn't offer us the chance to get spectacularly close to any of the birds.

We spent a long time enjoying the different areas, the hides and the birds before eventually returning to the courtyard where we began.

Here we tried out the "Discovery centre" which, along with an informative display in one of the hides, educated us about what a wetland is and why they're important. The definition of a wetland is very wide (e.g it includes the Thames estuary as well as coral reefs) but an important thing, apparently, is that the water is less than 6ft deep. The Discovery centre had a fun walk-through display in which you walked through different environments and had to decide if they counted as wetlands (e.g. a coral reef, a flooded forest etc). Unsurprisingly perhaps most of the environments were wetlands.

After the walk-through there was a very fun display about what wetlands do and why they're important. The display was set up like an old-fashioned fairground with games and shows. To give you an idea there was one game called "Shoot your poo":
The aim of the game was to get small plastic balls (i.e. your poo) into holes by firing them through air guns. This illustrated the powerful way in which wetlands can process waste.

Another game involves firing water guns into pipes to illustrate that life needs water. There was a game whose opening premise was "You're a planning officer". Not very inspiring but it made a good point. You had to decide how to build flood defences and where to build houses on a scaled down model. The model had a mountain at one end and a flood plain at the other and periodically the mountain would be heavily rained on and a wall of water would deluge the flood plains. There were lego bricks available to build defences to save the foam houses. Very eduational.

After ABJ thought I'd had enough of the games we continued on our way to the other side of the centre - the non-endangered species side. This was good although less spectacular - mainly because it seemed the birds on this side didn't have their wings clipped (since they were non-endangered). That meant the birds had flown away and a lot fewer were on display in the lakes and marshes.

We journeyed on and visited a few more hides, watched a few birds flying around, watched a few jumbo jets flying overhead towards Heathrow airport. Dusk fell and we were tired from all our walking. We visited the gift shop and bought a few things to support the centre. To get back home we decided to take the number 283 bus, a.k.a "the Duck Bus". This left conveniently from a stop at the centre and off we went.

Summary: Well worth a visit. The birds at the centre change at different times of the year so it's worth going again during a different season.

The list (number five)

Here's an updated list with a few items crossed-out and a few added:

• Tour round Buckingham Palace
• Go up the BT Tower for the view
  
• Cycle around Richmond park
• Sneak into the fancy hotels - Hilton, Savoy etc
• Go to all the museums in London
• Go to all the major art museums in London
  
• Have a drink in the ice-bar off Regent Street
• Do the sing-along sound of music at the Prince Charles cinema
  
• Watch a film at the Electric cinema in Notting Hill
• Watch a film at a Leicester Square cinema
• Watch an IMAX film near Waterloo
• Go to a casino
• Explore the new O2 centre at the Millennium Dome
• Tour round the BBC TV centre and BBC Broadcasting House
• Watch a live, well-attended debate in Parliament (e.g. Prime Ministers questions)
• Go out for an artsy night out in the east-end.
• Shop at Petticoat Lane market
• Go on the rides at the London dungeons
• Sit in on a Sotheby's auction
• Eat at a traditional pie 'n' mash shop
• Tour round Lord's cricket ground
• Tour round Wembley stadium
• Go to the London wetland centre
• Visit Chelsea Physic Garden
• Get into London fashion week
• Tour around City Hall
• Tour around Tower Bridge
• Go to the tennis at Wimbledon
• See some plays
• Ride home in a rickshaw
• Eat at some famous restaurants
• Visit the hidden-away nature reserve behind St. Pancras station
• Visit a big mosque, big synagogue, other big places of worship
  
• Use an "isolation tank" near London Bridge
• Get a free Hare Krishna vegetarian meal
• Go to the the Jazz Cafe in Camden
• Go to some jazz club I've heard about in Soho
• Eat a meal in one of the touristy Leicester square steak houses
• Tour around Battersea power station
• Explore Heathrow Terminal 5
• Tour round Albert Hall and Albert Memorial
• Tour round Chiswick Fuller's brewery
• Eat at the restaurant at the top of Tate Modern
• Visit an exhibition at Earls Court and Kensington Olympia
• Visit a city farm
• Tour round Thames barrier

The London Dungeon

Website: http://www.thedungeons.com

Today I visited the London Dungeon, one of the most touristy places in London. Tucked away under London Bridge station the dungeons are always very busy with long queues of visitors waiting on the pavement outside.

I arrived at the start of the extraordinarily long "buy your ticket on the day" queue at about 12.30pm. I finally finished my visit to the dungeons at 3.40pm. It was quite a visit I'm sure you'll agree... until I tell you that out of that 3 hours 40 minutes I spent 2 hours queueing. That is, from the time I joined the back of the queue (out on the street, in the rain) to the time I joined a tour group that actually set off around the dungeons was 2 hours. 2 hours of my life I'll never get back...
In the queue I was sandwiched behind a large group of twenty-somethings and in front of a family. When the family joined the queue the father said "When we went to York dungeon the queue was this long and only took 20 minutes." I didn't realise dungeons were so universally popular.

The family consisted of two nice parents and four horrible savage children. The kids spent their time shaking wet umbrellas on each other, throwing food on the pavement, repeatedly spitting on the ground and, of course, shoving into me. Just great. I waited quietly in the rain and had so much time to fill that I managed to listen to the whole of the Dark Side of the Moon album. I watched as the family nipped off for hot drinks at Starbucks and the twenty-somethings nipped off to Pret for sandwiches and hot stinking croissants.

Given this hellish queuing I was looking forward to getting past the ticket desk and setting off on the trip. I guess I was naive. Before buying my ticket I had a photo of me taken posing in stocks. I then bought a student ticket for £18.95 and sped off into the dungeons. Or so I thought. First stop was an awkward misunderstanding with a few of the twenty-somethings ahead of me. They were waiting past the ticket desk for some friends who'd gone to the toilet and I stood in their midst for about thirty seconds. I finally figured out why they were waiting and set off to the dungeons. Or so I thought. Next stop was another queue that wound through a weirdly decorated corridor. There were rats on display, entrails, tinned rat etc. I heard two people separately comment "Oh I see! It's death by queuing!".

Finally we squirmed past an important door and were shuttered off into a tour group. An actor dressed in a cloak welcomed us to "The Crypt" and sent us off into "The Labyrinth of the Lost". During his introduction he would talk to one side of the group and then SUDDENLY spin round to the other side and shout his next piece of dialogue to the person he thought was most likely to have a heart attack.

The labyrinth was fun since it was a hall of mirrors and (at last!) we were free to wander (not in a queue) through it. We all made it through to the other side and were greated by a woman who told us we all had the plague and should go to the doctor. She led us through some more spooky corridors and into an "autopsy room". An actor dressed as a doctor was hiding behind the autopsy table and JUMPED OUT at us. He then plucked out a member of the group and analysed them in front of us all, telling us what he'd be like if he had the plague. We then left the doctor and visited "Newgate Gaol" where we were ushered into a court room. Three members of the group were made to stand in the dock and were accused of committing crimes. As they walked up to the dock we were encouraged to "booooooo".

The first was a 10 year old boy called Oliver accussed of running around Covent Garden pinching ladies bottoms.
Verdict: Innocent.

The second was a woman called Lucy who was accussed of urinating into water wells.
Verdict: Guilty.

The third was a man who said he was from Beligum.
Immediate Verdict: GUILTY.

We then left and went on the "Traitor: Boat Ride to Hell". This was billed as amazingly exciting. I joined a boat and we set off. I don't know what I was expecting but what we got was very disappointing. There were no people jumping out at us, no scary noises, no rapids... not much in fact. The whole trip was completed slowly, almost like a formal ballet, in complete darkness. When it was over we were ushered out and into Sweeney Todd's barber shop. We sat in barber's chairs and, once again, all the lights went out. A recorded voice of Sweeney Todd spoke in our ears and then we were jerked back in our chairs. Was that it!? Just compare that to the advertising poster:
We then left and went to the Jack the Ripper part of the dungeons. We saw a few dead, mutilated bodies of prostitutes (pretty odd entertainment really) and then a video about "Who was Jack the Ripper?". This lacked any explanatory power and was basically a series of photos of Victorian men with a voice-over saying "Or was it Colonel _____, or was it physician _____". We were then ushered out and into a mock pub. A woman behind the bar told us it was the ten year anniversary of the ripper murders. We were supposed to get more and more scared as items on the bar began to move of their own accord and then SUDDENLY the lights go OUT and a strobe light shows JACK THE RIPPER trying to slash a group member near the front of the bar! Now I have to admit that was pretty good. He appeared suddenly in a hat and cape with a blast of air and then suddenly was GONE!

We then "learnt" about the Great Fire of London before going on the ride "Extremis: Drop Ride to Doom". We sat in two rows of seats in a room. A restraining bar came down upon us, the lights went out and the seats were raised up. At the top we looked out upon a row of hangman nooses and a judge pronounced that we were due to be hanged. The hangman pulled the lever and SUDDENLY we DROPPED DOWN. And... err... well, that was it.

We were let out and sent into the photo preview room. As always the photos of me were terrible and I didn't want to spend the enormous fees to buy them. The tour ended in the gift shop: "The best Halloween shop in London". It did seem pretty good. There was a variety of Halloween costumes available:Overall I felt the London Dungeons were overpriced and disappointing. My desire to visit them, I reflected, was due to their extensive advertising that makes the rides look exciting. The rides were lacklustre and plain - not "scary" or "terrifying":
As an attraction they clearly save a lot of electricity money by keeping the lights out for most of the time. The high visitor turnover meant that visitors were ushered through each part too quickly. At various points the actors call the tour group "scum" and, worst of all, because I was visiting alone, I was variously called "a suicider" and "billy no-mates". And, to rub salt into the wound, I was paying loads of money for the experience!

Summary: Not worth it.