Debates in Parliament

Websites:
http://www.parliament.uk
http://www.writetothem.com
http://www.theyworkforyou.com

It's been a while since I've done anything for the Local Tourist but this came up by chance today...

The Government is going to cut millions of pounds of funding for universities and colleges. To try to stop this the University and College Union (UCU) had organised a national "lobby of parliament" to be held today. I'd be alerted to this by a friend's email a few days ago so decided to lend my support.

That's when the trouble began... You see, when they said "lobby of parliament" I'd understood "protest outside parliament" - a concept which I'm already familiar with. As it turned out I had misunderstood completely.

The lobby was scheduled from 2.30-4.30pm and I turned up outside the Houses of Parliament at 2.30pm expecting to see an army of annoyed students and lecturers with banners and placards. The only crowds I could see were groups of tourists taking photos.

There had been mention of a "feeder march" from Kings College starting at 1.30pm so I thought that perhaps that hadn't arrived yet. I saw a group of rowdy students joining a queue to enter the Houses of Parliament (they were chanting something like "No ifs! No buts! We don't want your budget cuts!"). I decided they must be the early ones and so went to look for the march that was heading our way. Only trouble is, there was no giant march!

Somewhat puzzled I went back to the queue and thought about what to do. I'd visited the inside of parliament before but never during a weekday - perhaps instead of a protest this was my chance to tick something off my local tourist list...

At this point I saw LB and WR queuing to go inside. LB was the friend who sent the email about the lobby. I called down to them from the pavement and asked what was going on. LB said they were queuing to get inside and were going to do some tourism. I said I'd see them inside and went to join the queue. From his response I'd decided there must have been such a small turn out that the protest was cancelled and they'd decided to visit parliament instead as a consolation.

The rowdy students had already gotten inside and at this point I thought that perhaps the protest was going to happen inside parliament. Although I was pretty sure that wouldn't be allowed by the numerous police I nevertheless wanted to be inside if there was something to see.

I asked a steward outside if I could queue to go inside. She sized me up as a rowdy student and asked why I was going inside. "Just visiting," I replied innocently and eventually, after trying to persuade me to come back in 1 or 2 hours, she let me in with a ticket to the public viewing gallery. As I passed her I heard a police radio announce that they should stop letting in any more students...

When I finally made it inside I thought I might see my friends waiting somewhere ready to protest. As it turns out they were nowhere to be seen. While wondering what to do a policeman made a bee-line for me and asked why I was there. Too scared of being kicked out if I said "I'm looking for a student protest" I said "I'm going to the public gallery!". He let me pass with no trouble.

I've been to the viewing gallery before. This time was just the same - you sign a little piece of paper saying you won't cause a disturbance, hand in your phone and bags and then are led into the hushed viewing gallery. From there you can look down on the MPs while they debate.

When I visited a few years ago it was late in the evening and there were only around 6 MPs present. This time there was about 80 MPs and they were discussing a varied selection of topics. The viewing gallery was stuffed full of a mix of tourists, elderly middle-class women and randoms like me.

I've never been particularly knowledgeable about politics so this was my chance to see the spectacle first-hand. I gazed around the green leather-upholstered seats and tried to size-up the MPs. I watched as MPs slouched in their seats and openly yawned, listened as they gabbled and stuttered their way through their prepared remarks and improvised answers.

I'd never watched parliament sitting for a well-attended debate before. The whole thing was ludicrous. The time-slot I saw was "Topical Questions to the Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government". The questions ranged over a variety of parochial topics but every single answer was identical - a knee-jerk rebuttal which ignored the main thrust of the question. And that was if they knew about the topic! If they didn't even know about the question they'd say "I'll write to you with the answer".

This was all mixed in with excessive etiquette about "My right honourable so-and-so" or "Mr Speaker, if I may..." which the MPs all flustered over so much it completely eclipsed what they were trying to say. Not to mention the opposition MPs who wanted to raise points (I think) so would stand up tentatively two or three at a time whenever there was a lull in the proceedings. As soon as the speaker called the next question they'd have to sit back down having said nothing. This was repeated periodically after every question.

There were MPs who obviously came from constituencies which have real problems and which some particular Government scheme was going to badly affect them. They would ask the front bench politicians to "guarantee this" or "wouldn't you agree with me that" but every response just steamrollered over the MPs worries and repeated their fixed answer.

At the end of these topical questions there were a few points of order raised which included one MP complaining that another MP had campaigned in their consituency without informing them beforehand. At this point I starting to despair.

Anyway, after I'd sat for about 20/30 minutes the next topic came up - a lengthy speech about ambulance response times. I left at this point to see if the UCU protest had warmed up.

As I was leaving the entrance to the viewing gallery a guard asked some elderly ladies in front of me if they were going to visit the House of Lords. They declined but I asked him about it and he showed me where to go (there was no sign of UCU by the way).

This was a whole different affair. There were around 20 Lords sitting around their red leather-upholstered chamber and they were talking about the Digital Economy Bill. The atmosphere in the House of Lords was quite different to the House of Commons. Practically every Lord had some kind of disability that meant they hobbled around or leant on furniture while speaking but my main impression was they had much more time to debate. Every sentence they pronounced was studded with long pauses while they found the right way to express their next idea. This was not rhetoric at its best but was much better than the MPs debate where it was a pleasant surprise to see someone form a single grammatically correct sentence.

They were debating the powers that should be given to the Government to try to stop illegal downloading of films/music etc on the internet. They were talking about the film Avatar and the music services Spotify and iTunes, even the website "Oink". This all constrasted sharply with the ancient stained-glass windows and the golden bejeweled throne sitting at the back wall. The best contribution was from Lord Lucas (I think) who said that rather than trying to ban illegal downloads (which, he said, would never really succeed) it was better to make copyrighted material available in other means for a fee. That way people would simply pay to download a film rather than watching a pirated copy.

After a while listening to this I gave up and went back to the main entrance. I was still on the look-out for protesters and was very happy to see WR. He was sitting quietly on a bench reading a book. At last! Someone who could tell me what was going on!

He explained the lobby of parliament was going ahead - it was in a committee room upstairs. He had been there earlier and listened to a few speeches and now he was waiting to meet his MP to talk about the funding cuts. I revealed shame-facedly that I didn't even know who my MP was (a situtation I have since rectified). I told him what I'd been doing and he was so interested he went off to the public viewing gallery. I set off to find the "UCU committee room" - room 19 as it turned out - and arrived at about 4.30pm. Unfortunately the lobby was only going on from 2.30-4.30pm so I arrived at precisely the moment that everybody was leaving...

Nevermind, I now know how little I know about parliament and will have to educate myself in the future. I left for home feeling a little bit wiser.

Summary: Parliamentary debates are an interesting spectacle to witness first hand.

Museums and Art Galleries (Second attempt)

Looks like I'm doing well on the museums and art galleries front:

Museums:

• London Transport Museum
• Sherlock Holmes Museum
• Dicken's House Museum
• Maritime Museum, Greenwich
  
• Cutty Sark and Golden Hind
• Bank of England Museum
• Guards Museum in London
  
• HMS Belfast
• Clockmakers' Museum
• Dr. Johnson's House
• Hogarth's House
• Kensington Palace
• The National Archives
• Museum of Brands, Packaging and Advertising
• Wellcome Collection
• Madame Tussauds
• Science Museum
• Natural History Museum
• Victoria and Albert Museum
• Royal Observatory, Greenwich
• Wellington Arch

Art Galleries:

• Barbican
• White Cube
• Dulwich Picture Gallery
• Guildhall Art Gallery
• National Gallery
• National Portrait Gallery
• Tate Modern
• Tate Britain

The list (number seven)

Here's an updated list with a few items crossed-out:

• Tour round Buckingham Palace
• Go up the BT Tower for the view
  
• Cycle around Richmond park
• Sneak into the fancy hotels - Hilton, Savoy etc
• Go to all the museums in London
• Go to all the major art museums in London
  
• Have a drink in the ice-bar off Regent Street
• Do the sing-along sound of music at the Prince Charles cinema
  
• Watch a film at the Electric cinema in Notting Hill
• Watch a film at a Leicester Square cinema
• Watch an IMAX film near Waterloo
• Go to a casino
• Explore the new O2 centre at the Millennium Dome
• Tour round the BBC TV centre and BBC Broadcasting House
• Watch a live, well-attended debate in Parliament (e.g. Prime Ministers questions)
• Go out for an artsy night out in the east-end.
• Shop at Petticoat Lane market
• Go on the rides at the London dungeons
• Sit in on a Sotheby's auction
• Eat at a traditional pie 'n' mash shop
• Tour round Lord's cricket ground
• Tour round Wembley stadium
• Go to the London wetland centre
• Visit Chelsea Physic Garden
• Get into London fashion week
• Tour around City Hall
• Tour around Tower Bridge
• Go to the tennis at Wimbledon
• See some plays
• Ride home in a rickshaw
• Eat at some famous restaurants
• Visit the hidden-away nature reserve behind St. Pancras station
• Visit a big mosque, big synagogue, other big places of worship
  
• Use an "isolation tank" near London Bridge
• Get a free Hare Krishna vegetarian meal
• Go to the the Jazz Cafe in Camden
• Go to some jazz club I've heard about in Soho
• Eat a meal in one of the touristy Leicester square steak houses
• Tour around Battersea power station
• Explore Heathrow Terminal 5
• Tour round Albert Hall and Albert Memorial
• Tour round Chiswick's Fuller's brewery
• Tour round Wandsworth's Young's Brewery
  
• Eat at the restaurant at the top of Tate Modern
• Visit an exhibition at Earls Court and Kensington Olympia
• Visit a city farm
• Tour round Thames barrier
• Visit a talk at the Royal Geographical Society
• Buy some food from a roadside taxi cafe

Kensington Palace

Website: http://www.hrp.org.uk/KensingtonPalace

Yesterday ABJ and I visited Kensington Palace. As I work nearby I've been past the place hundreds of times but I'd never actually been inside. It turned out that you got a discount of £1 if you booked your tickets online so I booked two £10 student tickets before we set out.

It was a sunny day and we arrived in the busy Kensington Gardens, entered the main approach to the palace and found the ticket desks around the back. We picked up our tickets smoothly and got out audio guide.

Unfortunately the audio guide hand-held wand was quite uncomfortable - there was a big nodule sticking out which you had to hold against your ear. It was just too big to fit inside your ear and just too small to rest your ear against, instead you continually bashed your ear lobe against it as it rattled in circles around your outer ear as you wandered the hallways. Not only that but when each audio entry finished there was no signal - just silence. This led to us holding the wands to our ears in humble uncertainty for 5-10 seconds after each entry. We set off and learned about the ceremonial costumes that young men and women used to wear. The costumes on display were original and some were very impressive - lots of gold embroidery. Some of the more ceremonial aspects seemed very pointless - the worst beinga flattened hat which couldn't even be worn but had to be carried tucked under the arm as a sign of respect to the monarch.

There was a mock-up of a upper-class tailor's showroom where you could inspect the fabrics they used and see colonial uniforms on display. A few more rooms showed original laces and a sewing workshop. It was interesting to learn how immense the effort was to make many of the garments on display - many young women working in terrible conditions to make the finery for the upper-class. ABJ did some arty photography: We were then treated to room after room of dresses that Princess Diana had worn. This seemingly never-ending parade of 80s and 90s dress styles is one of the main attractions to the palace but I found it fairly dull:From this point on, in fact, the exhibits became more and more strange. There was a focus on débutantes - the young upper-class women who were presented to the King and Queen. This included a series of video interviews with the "last debs" - the practise ended in March 1958 so many of the girls presented are still alive:There were lots of old photos of "debs" and "debs delights" (i.e. the men who dated/danced with the debs) but they didn't have very useful captions - no dates or other handy info. The structure of the exhibits became more unusual - the path became non-linear and poorly signposted and the displays of dresses looked more and more like they'd been dreamt up by a exhibition designer left to run wild. There were huge cardboard cutouts of women curtseying, dresses displayed in rooms with mirrors on the walls, a giant 10ft tall fabric wedding cake etc etc.

After a room where you could practice walking in a straight line with a book on your head, learn how to reply to a party invitation, how to curtsey etc, there was a room with authentic nik-nacks from the good old days (e.g. "I bought these bras in Paris" etc).

We then transitioned from debs to the history of the palace and were treated to a long series of dark wood-panelled rooms with lavish tapestries and paintings. One featured a "fat Venus" and was the cause of a dispute about displaying such a grotesque painting:
There was a chance to see the view over the gardens from inside (rather than my usual view from the gardens looking in): We toured the long line of similar rooms and marvelled at the fancy furniture. One room had a "wind dial" - a device that displayed the prevailing wind direction through a connection to a weather vane on the roof:
We were impressed by a "lantern" in the ceiling of one room/floor of another which we decided we should have in our house one day...At length our tour ended in the busy perfumed gift shop. We took a last look at the impressive but hidden gardens:and were then on our way.

Summary: To expensive for such a poorly put together tour.

Vauxhall City Farm

Website: http://www.vauxhallcityfarm.org

Yesterday ABJ and I visited Vauxhall City Farm. This was the nearest city farm to where we live but was still a long tube ride away. When we finally arrived at Vauxhall we were greeted by a corridor of vandalised bikes, a collection of "Murder" signs and a crowd of drunks wandering the streets. We picked our way through the decay and followed the signs to the farm.

The farm was tucked away on a side street and we were welcomed by the cockerel crowing. The first definite evidence that we'd arrived at the farm was the two cows in a field next to the local park:We then realised where to go and went in the main gate. Immediately we peered in the first room and saw some fat rabbits and cute guinea pigs.It was soon clear to me that this was going to be the main part of the visit - cooing over cute animals. I'm not sure what I was expecting but I think I read somewhere that some city farms do pony rides...

The next sight was a pen filled with moulting chickens. These were running around trying to clear out their plumage. This led to some ridiculous looking birds with feathers all down their legs:We then found ourselves in the Eco-garden which had a pond and a hut built from old tyres.
When we returned to the chicken area we were alarmed to see a chicken lying on the floor looking like it was dead. It lay on its side, still and lifeless. Very concerned for its well-being I went to tell one of the farm helpers. I spoke to a man supervising the construction of some bird-houses for local children and was told to speak to another helper. This one also looked very grave and walked with me to the chicken. He picked it up carefully and placed it on a plank of wood. "Oh she's alrigh'. She were sunbathing that's all!" It was fine. How embarrassing.

We retreated back to the main gate area and continued to explore the rest of the farm. There were plenty of stables with guinea pigs, ferrets, ducks and chicks crawling through the straw bedding. In addition to these typical farm animals we were surprised by how many pigeons there were. In each room there were loads of pigeons pecking through the straw and feeding in the food bowls. I guess they put the "city" in "city farm".

Opposite these stables were some larger animals including sheep:pigs,and massive noisy ducks:
We also saw a llama that looked just as lifeless as the chicken we saw earlier. But we'd learnt our lesson. It looked dead but was really just sunbathing (don't worry - we saw it walking around later on):Beyond the larger animals and ducks (including some funny-looking tufted-head ducks) was the Community Garden which grew corn, tomatoes and lots of other things. ABJ tried to make friends with the local cat but we found it hard to get any acknowledgement from it:We peered into the private allotments nearby and then returned the way we had come back to the main gate. On the way we saw another llama that needed a hair-cut:and made a donation "down the cow's bum" to help them continue their good work:Summary: Good fun and inspiring to know there's people out there to help look after the variety of animals that end up in the farm (e.g. from "saved from the slaughter-house" to "left by the farm gates").

Chelsea Physic Garden

Website: http://www.chelseaphysicgarden.co.uk

Today ABJ and I visited the Chelsea Physic Garden. We'd tried to go once before but had ended up mistakenly in the "Royal Hospital Chelsea" down the road. This time we were successful.

The entry fee for students is a mere £5 for which you get two information sheets, a map, hand-held audio-guide and the opportunity to follow a guided tour around the gardens. We decided to skip the guided tour and rely on the audio-guide instead to aid our visit to the 3.8 acre site:We found a bench near the centre of the gardens, sat and read the information sheets and then keyed in "1" and "Play" on our audio wands. It turns out the garden was founded in 1673 by a group of apothecaries who wanted to grow plants for use in their medicines as well as teach their apprentices how to care for the plants they needed. In the course of history the site was acquired by Dr Hans Sloane (after whom Sloane Square is named) and the rent for the site was fixed forever at £5 (which is still paid to an Earl of Somewhere).

The long history means that many important plants were introduced to Britain first in the Chelsea Physic Garden. The garden went through lots of ups and downs and in 1983 was threatened with closure. This forced them to set up a charity to run it and open the gardens to the public.

We watched the mixture of local residents who were there for the tranquillity and tourists who were there for the history. All the tourists sat listening to their audio-guides (us included) while the locals reclined in their benches looking snooty - compare left and right here:We set off from our bench and walked to the Pond Rockery. This was the oldest rockery in Europe and a listed "building". Amongst the rocks were volcanic basalt brought back as ballast by explorers from Iceland as well as masonry from the Tower of London:
It was an excellent rockery.

We then wandered the planted beds and saw rare plants and vegetables. Apparently it's now no longer possible to by 90% of the seed varieties you could buy at the start of the 20th century. That doesn't sound good does it? This area of the garden was part of their attempt to preserve these unusual varieties of onions, potatoes etc.

In our walking we came across the oldest outdoor olive tree in Britain (which still gives a good harvest of green olives every year - these must be picked before the pigeons eat them):
We then entered the glasshouses to the north of the gardens. Here we saw lots of tropical plants:
including vanilla:and chillis:After passing the Poison Plot where they keep all the poisonous (but sometimes medicinally useful) plants we found ourselves at the cafe. It served tea and homemade cakes and was packed by posh Chelsea people:We had a quick look at some carnivourous plants:and some really impressive plants that have evolved to camouflage themselves like pebbles:
Next stop was the Cool Fernery (that's its actual name by the way):and some secluded walks through the undergrowth. We arrived at a big gate that led out to the Thames Embankment which is "used only for Royalty and manure":Next we saw the giant compost heaps: the study centre (complete with a "which plants grow best on roofs" experiment):
and the garden's beehives: They sell honey from the bees which is in such demand it's limited to 1 jar per person.

We stopped for a while at Fortune's Tank Pond and watched the wildlife (including the other visitors) before going out through the shop and buying a Purple Basil plant on the way.

Summary: A great day out in good weather.

Thames Flood Barrier

Website: http://www.environment-agency.gov.uk/homeandleisure/floods/38353.aspx

Yesterday I went on an adventure with ABJ to the Thames Flood Barrier. I visited Thames Barrier Park on the north of the river a few years ago and have always wanted to come back and find out more about it. Since I've mainly lived in west London and the barrier is in east London I've never got around to it. Until yesterday...

We got the train from Charing Cross to Charlton station and then, AtoZ in hand, headed for the river. We found the Thames Path and got out first glimpse of the futuristic looking barrier: We approached and arrived at an ominous tunnel that went underneath through the barrier before we found outselves next to a map of the Thames river. The map showed all the towns the river past through as well as all the bridges that cross it:We continued on through a pleasant picnic area/playground to the Information Centre. There was a nice view of the barrier and across the river to the Tate&Lyle sugar factory:
We bought our inexpensive tickets at the cafe and then went downstairs to learn about why the barrier was built and how it works. It turns out that under very specific (fairly rare) circumstances London is at risk of flooding due to a freakishly high water level on the Thames:To ensure that London is safe from flooding the Thames Barrier was built. Its construction lasted 8 years in the 1970s and 80s and we watched a retro documentary about how they built it. It was an impressively epic project that required precision engineering and complicated constructions. Each tower of the barrier is based on a deep foundation of concrete that was dug into man-made holes in the riverbed.

When the barrier is activated a curved barrier is raised from the riverbed and held up against the incoming tide:
This (impressively) keeps the normal tidal level upstream while keeping the unusually high tides "safely downstream". When the barrier is up the nice picnic area and playground outside becomes flooded.We learnt about how floods happen and how bad the flood was in 1953 which spurred people to build good flood defenses. There was a fun "Countdown to Closure" panel where you could listen to the kinds of conversations that go back and forth between the managers of the barrier and the MET office etc during the 48 hours prior to closing the barrier.

Somewhat disconcertingly the final information panels explained how climate change might still put London at risk of flooding over the next 100 years (despite the best efforts of the existing barrier!).

We eventually finished at the information centre and, since it was a nice sunny day, decided to walk to Thames Barrier Park on the north side. This involved following the Thames Path to the free Woolwich ferry and then continuing on the north side to the park. On the way there was lots of opportunity for arty photos:
We passed a Chinese cash'n'carry:
and came close to the imposingly massive Tate&Lyle sugar factory:before finally arriving at the excellent Barrier Park: This well-maintained park offered some more good views of the barrier from the other side and was full of people relaxing in the sun. After our hours of walking, however, we decided to head home on the DLR:
Summary: An interesting day out that finally taught me how the Thames Barrier works!