Fancy hotels

Today I did something a bit unusual. I set myself the task of sneaking into a number of "fancy hotels" in London. To accomplish this I made a list of hotels to visit, dressed up in my smartest suit, charged my camera and set out.














1. Claridges
Website: http://www.claridges.co.uk

First stop was Claridges. I'd walked past this hotel a few times and it certainly looks very posh - the doormen wear top hats etc etc. I arrived at the street, looked across at the hotel, took a deep breath and walked towards the doors.

The doormen were welcoming a taxi. Would they stop me? I reached the revolving door, pushed it and was inside. So far so good... but... don't stop. Any real guest wouldn't hang around the lobby - they'd go straight up to their room. So I kept walking, taking a quick glance around at the marble lobby, the reception desk, the concierges in smart uniforms. I kept walking past it all hoping I'd find some stairs or some lifts. There! A flight of stairs was ahead and I confidently walked up it.

I stopped at the first landing. There was no one around - just the sound of some distant maids cleaning rooms. I did it! I was inside! So... erm... What next? I wandered the corridors looking for anything to do. I saw a few maids - one of which said "Good morning Sir". Ha.

I climbed to the top floor - always on the move in an attempt to avoid suspicion. I saw a few other guests - including one woman in a dressing gown who'd been woken by a maid entering her room!

Erm... What to do... I finally descended to the lobby once more, stopping briefly for a sit down on a sumptuous sofa to survey the scene:Finally, after 10 minutes snooping, I left by a side exit.


















2. Connaughts
Website: http://www.the-connaught.co.uk

A short walk away was Connaughts - a 5-star hotel I hadn't heard about until this morning. It was a much quieter affair - there were none of the distractions that the Claridges doormen had. The street was empty except for the one doorman and me. Yep, I'd have to just... "Good afternoon Sir," said the doorman. "Afternoon," I replied with a nod. Then I was in. Here the lobby was a lot smaller - the reception desk on the left was busy and the information desk on the right was busy so I breezed between the two, up the stairs and past some rich looking Americans.

This was a much more swanky than Claridges - the staircases were lined with portraits and hunting paintings:
As I walked through the corridors - passing newspapers, linen trolleys and "Do Not Disturb" signs - I began to wonder why I was doing this. Obviously it was to see what these fancy hotels are like. I carefully tried to take it all in. The carpets were plush and the walls were decorated with different types of wood. I sat on a sofa and thought through what to do. I decided that perhaps the Connaught wasn't all that great to a visitor like me so I should push on to the Dorchester - now that's a hotel I could really get stuck into.

I left by the main entrance, was wished a pleasant afternoon by the inside doorman and saw a mildly puzzled look on the outside doorman - I'd been in and out of the hotel in about 10 minutes.


















3. The Dorchester
Website: http://www.thedorchester.com

The Dorchester is where movie stars stay. It's where royalty have parties. It's on Park Lane and it's where I was going next. This one was fun.

Walking along the side of the building I saw a sign that said "CCTV in use for your safety" - gulp! Arriving at the front it looked so famous, posh and imposing that I almost chickened-out.

I took a deep breath, walked proudly past some autograph hunters (I guess someone famous must have been staying there), past a doorman and swirled through the revolving door and into the lobby. A quick glance round to figure out where to go... Onwards! I walked forwards into a seating area dotted with elderly guests. There was a bar on my right and what looked like a restaurant straight on. Is it a dead end? Where are the stairs and the lifts!?

Aha! There's some stairs on the left... I confidently strolled towards the stairs labelled "Park Suite" and began to feel uneasy. Where would they lead? They ended after one flight and opened onto a landing leading to two meeting rooms. It was a dead end. Hmmm... What to do? Going straight back down to the lobby might arouse suspicion. Are there any cameras looking at me? No.

After a lengthy pause I returned downstairs to the lobby, slowly walked across it, spotted some lifts and called one. I went up to the 6th floor and wandered the corridors. Again there wasn't anything new - just newspapers and cleaning maids - but the stair cases allowed some good views of the nearby buildings:

There was a staircase at the back of the hotel that I followed down, aiming to get back to the ground floor and approach the lobby through the hotel...

I arrived at the ground floor and exited into a different, completely empty lobby. I explored the direction I needed to go and, passing through two antechambers, found an enormous ballroom. It was empty except for me and I just strolled around it waiting to get caught. I looked at a few of the exit doors but from the sounds I could hear these led into the kitchens.

There was no through-route here back to the front so I got back to the stairs and decided to try the Lower Ground floor. Here I came across a store room full of old broken chairs and then, trying another route, a store room for food with an open cupboard filled with SunPat peanut butter.

Oh dear. I finally retraced my steps and used the 2nd floor to come back towards the lobby. Here I descended to the Mezzanine level, took a quick side step to use some executive toilet, and then back down to the lobby. I sat on one of the plush chairs and examined my watch as if I was waiting for someone. Finally, although the concierges didn't think I looked suspicious, I left. Outside, free once again, I walked past the expensive international cars and on towards the Hilton.


















4. The Hilton Hyde Park
Website: http://www.hilton.co.uk/hydepark

I was now getting expert at sneaking into these hotels so I breezed straight into the Hilton. This was the tallest hotel on my list (it has 28 floors) so I was especially interested in seeing some good views. The lobby was filled with over-dressed women wearing extravagant hats - they were there for a wedding party.

I got in the lift with about 4 other people, pressed floor 25 and stood back. The doors closed, and two women in the lift started fretting about which floor to go to. They asked me what my room number was! I said "Err... erm... 2514". It was the closest I'd got to being discovered.

It turns out that I couldn't find the stairs on floor 25. As I waited for the lift to go up to floor 28 I saw there were stairs but they were hidden away out of sight. I got the lift anyway and went up to the Windows Bar and Restaurant.

It turns out that there was a marriage party (for Pirthipal and Amrita) being hosted at the hotel and the bride and groom were having photos taken up in the bar - great views of London all round. To justify my stay in the bar I bought an expensive lemonade. The views around were impressive - you could even see in to the back gardens of Buckingham Palace.After my lemonade I explored a little bit back down near the lobby - including an huge, empty, unlocked events room - and saw the marriage party decorations. Then I left.

5. The Ritz
Website: http://www.theritzlondon.com

I'd saved the Ritz for last because I knew it would be the most difficult hotel to waltz into. I was right. Earlier in the morning I'd studied a picture of the lobby so knew where the stairs were. I entered through the revolving doors, avoiding looking at the imposing bouncer ahead of me and strolled casually to the left towards the stairs.

"Excuse me Sir," he called out. I sheepishly looked around. "Can I help you?" he asked.

Earlier in the day I'd decided I couldn't stand lying about having a room and then being found out. I'd decided to stick to the truth...

"I was just going to have a look around..." I told him.

He was obviously very experienced with this kind of thing. Without missing a beat he replied: "That's fine here in the lobby but up the stairs is for guests only and through these doors formal dress is required - jacket, shirt and tie. If you speak to reception they'll be very happy to give you any information you require."

For appearances only I backtracked into the reception office but then left, defeated, out to the street.

Summary: Surprisingly exhilarating considering I wasn't breaking the law...